The Way We Do Friending Now (And I’ve Learned To Like It)

Photo by Hannah Wei on Unsplash

A few weeks ago I heard from Stanley*, a friend I hadn’t seen in over a decade. We were pretty close when I was in my twenties; he’s about 15 years older, so he was like my big brother back then. Lots of teasing, lots of head-shaking when I did something dumb, good advice about my new car, and bad advice about my social life.

We stayed in touch for a while, then drifted apart. A mention on social media, combined with the doldrums of quarantine, and he was back In my life.

We had a long phone conversation. He was in the same line of work as before; I’d bounced around multiple careers, picked up advanced degrees, and settled into a comfortable life. He’s sidelined with health problems; I’m still healthy and working. He’d been in long relationships; my status was, “It’s complicated.”

We agreed to exchange photos and talk again. I figured, maybe a couple of weeks, even more. We’d gone this long, right? And we’re different people.

The next day, as I was working on a new course, the phone rang. I glanced briefly, expecting a spam alert. To my surprise, Stanley’s number appeared on my screen.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Sure, I just decided to call. I wanted to follow up on what we talked about yesterday…”